Shockwaves
by Noxialis
Summary: Tooru didn't expect his time as a Princess to affect him so deeply, but it spread out like shockwaves throughout his life. TooruxYuujirou
1. Chapter 1

**Shockwaves**

Note: I do not own Princess Princess (if I did, there'd be a hellova lot more gay than there already is). I've also never read the books, only seen the anime, so while I realize that the next Princess candidates were already chosen, I'm not using them because I don't know who they are.

--

It had all ended too fast.

The Princess' Goodbye Ceremony had come and gone, and the entire school found themselves in a heartfelt moment. Students were sobbing, saying their final farewells to the Princess days of Tooru, Yuujirou, and Mikoto, knowing full well they'd see the boys again if they tried. But then they wouldn't be Princesses. Mikoto, as had been expected, could not be happier about the end of his Princess reign. He sported one of the largest, most genuine smiles of all the past times he had to wear the dresses and the makeup, and waved an eager goodbye to the crowd with his free hand. Yuujirou was latched onto the other hand.

Yuujirou seemed to be far sadder than Mikoto, wearing a melancholy smile, tipping his head to the side just so as he looked out onto his fans. He was sadder, Tooru believed, or was at least far better at faking it than Mikoto.

And Tooru?

It was hard for him to concentrate with his hand slipped into Yuujirou's. It was a line of the three Princesses, all holding a hand as they left for good. Tooru waved with his free hand, though it was hard to see the crowd. Through the fabric of their gloves, Tooru could feel Yuujirou's body heat, slipping into his veins, warming his face to a modest blush. His sapphire eyes were cast downwards, looking at the edge of the stage they stood on, decorated just so with loads upon loads of flowers. When Tooru had first seen it, he had wondered how much all those flowers had cost. Arisada told him that it didn't matter; the Princess budget could stand up to a few hundred thousand yen spent on flowers.

Tooru admired these flowers now, because it was easier to admire them than the face standing next to him. Yuujirou was so beautiful. Tooru had known that ever since he first saw the boy, but after a while it had taken on a more intimate feel, that word 'beautiful'. Tooru wasn't sure when it had happened, when he started developing feelings for his fellow Princess. It could have been after he kissed him, which was a very likely situation where gay feelings would end up being discovered. But Tooru couldn't help but think that it was somewhere before that. He hadn't made a large fuss about being kissed, and he hadn't hit Yuujirou or anything, so Tooru doubted that unless he discovered he liked the idea of Yuujirou kissing him as he was kissing him, that wasn't the time he fell for Yuujirou. Really, he couldn't have discovered he liked Yuujirou kissing him during the kiss, because his mind had done a complete blank at the very moment he could feel Yuujirou's breath against his lips.

The ceremony ended, and the three unlocked their hands behind a curtain. Mikoto went on about how he was finally free and that now he could be a normal boyfriend for Megumi, but Tooru tuned him out. He wanted to enjoy the residual heat that radiated from where Yuujirou touched him. It spread through his body, linking with his heartbeat to create waves of heat that spread down to his toes.

"Are you coming?" Yuujirou's voice slipped through Tooru's daze, and he looked up. The two were going back to the Home Economics room, to return to their boy clothes and lock away their final Princess dress. As Tooru handed the frilly outfit over to Natashou, he couldn't help but feel a pang of sadness, like he was handing away something that had become so close to a part of him that it just felt alien to not have it. Natashou seemed to not notice, and spirited their dresses away to wherever he was keeping them, Tooru wasn't sure he wanted to know. If he looked at them, it would just be a reminder of what he didn't have anymore. He cast his eyes downwards again and turned around, noticing he was alone in the room. Mikoto had left rather loudly, taking out his cell phone so he could call Megumi and arrange a date. Yuujirou had slipped out like a ghost, away from Tooru. He sighed, and left the room.

Spring break went by too slowly.

Every day seemed to drag on, and Tooru was left with agonizingly long days where he felt a part of him was missing. He enjoying spending time with his family, his aunt and uncle were so very kind. He still did not see much of Sayaka, as she had been forced to go to a counselor for her 'issues'. Tooru was rather glad for that. Sayaka still scared him, and whenever he had a few moments where he was able to sit down with her, though his uncle was always present, he couldn't help but remember all the psycho things she had done. What she did to Yuujirou. Yuujirou. Tooru thought in circles now, an indefinite loop that lasted the whole break. He was so glad when school started again, and merrily entered his second year.

It felt alien to not be situated in the Princess Room, instead located in a regular room with a first year student for a roommate. He was a nice boy, Tooru found, who narrowly escaped becoming a Princess due to a long scar across the side of his face. He was told it had happened during an incident with a large tree. Tooru couldn't help but think whether or not Mikoto would have gotten a scar if that meant he wouldn't have had to be a Princess. Tooru adjusted fairly well and fairly quickly, he thought, and slowly got used to seeing the two other students dressed up in the frills and lace of their Princess costumes.

He got close to Atsushi, the raven-haired Princess who constantly came to Tooru for advice. He told Tooru that he had tried to talk to Mikoto, but he said he didn't want anything more to do with the Princess system. He admitted he would have tried Yuujirou, but the blonde scared him a little, so he approached Tooru. The blue-haired boy smiled and taught Atsushi what he could, and soon found the boy hanging off his every word as well as his arm. The boy had assured him that he meant nothing romantically by it, and Tooru found it almost comforting to have someone that wanted to cling to him, who needed him for support. But when Atsushi was in his Princess dress and ran through the halls, his heels clicking on the ground with each step so he could grab Tooru's bicep with both hands, Tooru found himself wistfully wishing he was a first year again.

Without even recognizing that he was doing so, Tooru found himself growing his hair longer and longer. When his bangs got to the point where they covered his eyes completely and the rest of his hair was getting close to his shoulders, Tooru asked Kazuto to cut his hair for him. When his roommate had asked him how short he wanted it, Tooru had replied, without even thinking, "Just the bangs."

He missed being a Princess, he realized. He really did. It had taken him a few weeks after that until he realized it, but in the middle of summer break, Tooru realized he missed being a Princess.

He was back at home for summer break. It felt odd to call it 'home'. He spent all his time at school, in the dorms, and even wished for a distance between his family after the entire Sayaka incident. As a result of this, Tooru found himself wandering the streets more often, sometimes for hours on end. He would always go out and buy something, whether it was a new pair of swimming trunks or even a few pastries for the family. He thought of himself as very lucky that the money he got from being a Princess hadn't come close to being dried up. At the end of last school year, Princess pictures had been bought like crazy, the students knowing this would be the last time they could see these Princesses like that.

As such, he was wandering through the streets like the day before, and the day before that, when his eye caught something. He stopped in front of a store and looked into the window, looking past his reflection at the clothing that lay beyond. In particular, there was a dress there, suspended by a mannequin.

It was a white dress, with a sweetheart neckline and puffy shoulders. The sleeves were brought in at the bicep, and billowed out freely, light crème coloured lace at the ends. There was a corset, the same crème colour, but with swirls of a creamy green caressing it in a delicate pattern. It laced up in the front, the same green colour that adorned the corset was used for the lace that was tied into a small bow. The skirt of the dress puffed out, filled in by multiple layers of semi-sheer fabric and lace. If Tooru peeked up just a little, he could see garters belted around the mannequin's thighs, straps hanging down off them to connect with loose socks, which again had green swirls around the rim. Platform shoes, as white as snow, were placed upon the mannequin's feet.

Tooru was enraptured.

Barely recognizing the movements his body was doing, Tooru walked into the store and went up to the counter, asking to find the dress he saw in the window. The woman raised an eyebrow, knowing which dress he was talking about, but not making any motion to fetch it. Tooru paled a few shades, and then the white in his face was replaced by pink as he realized how this must look. "It's for my sister." He told the woman, giving her as genuine of a smile as he could muster. "Her birthday's coming up, and I wanted to get her something special." Satisfied with this response, the woman behind the counter went and got a copy of the dress, gathering everything down to the white shoes, and rang it up.

"That'll be 43,000 yen, sir." Tooru almost frowned; he hadn't realized dresses like that would cost that much. But then again, Natashou only ever made all his dresses, so he had never been exposed to the purchase of them. He pulled out a few bills and accepted his change, taking the bag with the outfit with him as he exited the store.

Sneaking the dress into his house turned out to be a bit of a challenge, as his uncle was right in the living room, and surely would have questioned what was in the bag as soon as he saw it. The bag was, after all, pink. He managed, hiding the bag from view by standing behind a chair when his uncle happened to look up. He raised an eyebrow when Tooru told him he hadn't bought anything, but didn't press anything. Tooru hurried into his room and locked the door.

He wondered why he had bothered to buy it, really. It was a whim, an impulse, and Tooru couldn't think of a moment in his life now where he would wear the damn thing. But, he realized, he didn't completely like his life as it was now. He knew something was missing, and he could point out a few things: being a Princess, and Yuujirou.

Yuujirou had been avoiding him, whether it was on purpose or not, and Tooru found he couldn't bring himself to try and talk to the boy. Just looking at him made his cheeks flush. But he couldn't go back to being a Princess, either. It was impossible, but maybe, Tooru thought, he could have the fun of being a Princess again. He had a dress, and while it hadn't been made especially for him by Natashou, Tooru felt a certain spark ripple through him when he laid his eyes on the dress. Laying it out on his bed, Tooru felt the same desire, the same impulse to put it on.

He tried it once during the summer break, when his aunt and uncle were taking Sayaka out somewhere, Tooru didn't bother to remember where. All he knew was that he wasn't interested, and told them to go on without him. Once he could no longer see their car from the window, Tooru ran to his room and pulled the bag out from under his bed and put the dress on. He pulled out a small amount of make-up that he had been able to smuggle out of Sayaka's room. He assumed she started to wear make-up in another attempt to get him to like her. Tooru put on some mascara and light pink lip-gloss, not liking any of the other colours that Sayaka had. He didn't particularly care for the shades of eye shadow she had. Once he was finished, he snuck them back into the same place he found the make-up and hurried out the door, locking it behind him.

Tooru found that he rather liked this. Just simply walking down the streets in his dress. People looked at him, both male and female alike, for their own various reasons. Tooru couldn't help but smile, and when some boys tried to pick him up, he just gave them his best Princess smile and said, "So sorry, but I'm afraid there's already someone I like."

His little expedition didn't last long, since he knew his family would be back after only a short while. He walked a few blocks upwards, took a quick circuit around the mall's plaza, and then headed back home. He locked the door behind him and walked to his room, slipping out of the dress and into his regular clothes. Just as he was finishing washing the make-up off his face, he heard the car pull up and his aunt's voice.

Tooru put the dress on a few times after he returned to school. He had found a nice place to hide it in the back of his closet, where Kazuto wouldn't be able to find it. He didn't really want to explain why he felt a longing to dress in women's clothing when he wasn't even getting anything out of it. Tooru didn't even know the answer to that question, so he saw no reason to try and get someone to ask him that. Kazuto, for his part, stayed oblivious.

When Kazuto was reconsidered to be a Princess and Tooru found the room to himself, he decided to wear the dress far more often. He found himself wearing it when he was doing his homework or just lounging around in his room, as well as when he snuck out and changed under the cover of the bushes and the trees in the nearby forest so he could go out into the town. Always, there was never much of a point of going into town. He would just walk around, dodge more boys that wanted to date the pretty lady they saw, and sometimes get a bite to eat. Once, he bought another dress, tired of constantly wearing the same dress over and over.

Tooru was lighter, happier than how he felt at the beginning of the school year. No longer did he feel the tugging at his heart whenever he saw Kazuto, Atsushi, and Moriya walk by in their Princess dresses. Now, he realized, he only felt a tugging at his heart whenever he saw Yuujirou walk by the halls, looking just as beautiful as he did before.


	2. Chapter 2

Thank you for the positive reviews! It's always been my worry that the characters wouldn't be written right (one of the reasons I never roleplayed a main character in a roleplay), so I'm very happy that they sound right to people. Here's chapter 2, and I'm hoping to get the next one up within the next few days as well.

--

CHAPTER 2

Yuujirou found that the time passed rather slowly after his first year. Without the Princess duties taking up the majority of his time, he found himself with little to do. He was grateful for the fact that it allowed him more time to spend with his family, even though it took some time to explain to his little brother that his 'sister' was not going to be seen anymore. It was nice to get closer to his parents, and while he still wasn't entirely sure of how he fit in there, he recognized that somehow, he really did. He spent the breaks over with his family, and there were numerous family outings where Yuujirou found he could laugh and have fun.

However, when school time rang around, he found himself listless and needing something to do. In order to occupy his time, Yuujirou got himself a large number of friends, setting up large numbers of meetings so they could hang out and have fun. He considered joining a club, and tried out a number of things before settling on the soccer team. Time during school was spent focusing on schoolwork, time after school was occupied by either soccer club, hanging with his friends, and sometimes doing homework. He didn't spend a lot of time in his dorm, not quite used to the idea of sleeping in the same room as someone other than Tooru.

Tooru.

Yuujirou found himself avoiding Tooru throughout school. He wasn't sure whether it was entirely intentional or not. Throughout the course of the first year, Yuujirou had found Tooru to be a close friend. Perhaps closer than originally intended, as Yuujirou found a little while later. He doubted even close friends would kiss each other, even if it was only to drive away a potential suitor. At that time, Yuujirou didn't think he thought of Tooru as anything more than a friend. They were close. They were fellow Princesses. They were friends. That was it.

But when Yuujirou had heard that Tooru was thinking of leaving, a part of him felt betrayed. Why would Tooru want to leave them all behind? Why would Tooru want to leave Yuujirou behind? Questions ran through his mind, but he never came across any answers. When Tooru announced that he would stay, Yuujirou was elated. When Tooru asked him what he was going to say, Yuujirou felt a blush creep onto his cheeks involuntarily. He wanted Tooru to stay. He wanted the boy to stay so badly that he just wanted to grip the boy tightly in a hug, refusing to let anyone else touch him. He wanted to stroke Tooru's gorgeous blue hair and ghost his lips over his ear, letting lips touch as he whispered what he wanted for Tooru.

"I also… I was hoping you'd stay here too, of course." He had said, and ran off embarrassed. He couldn't have said the things he really wanted to say. Tooru hadn't pushed him away after the kiss, and still did all their close, playful flirting that meant 'nothing'. Secretly, Yuujirou looked back and realized he like those close moments even more than he had originally thought.

Yes, over the break between years, Shihoudani Yuujirou realized he had fallen for Kouno Tooru.

It felt awkward to see Tooru in his second year, when he knew he had feelings for the boy. He couldn't bring himself to talk to him, almost afraid that if he did, he'd spill out his feelings and Tooru would reject him. Although, he couldn't help but feel a pang of sorrow when he saw that Tooru made no effort to stay friends. In his anger, Yuujirou spurred the friendship of Mikoto, and gained a sort of dangerous aura that caused the latest Princesses to run away from him, and instead flock to Tooru. He saw Atsushi, always clinging to Tooru like a lost puppy, and had once broken a pencil as he vented his frustrations at the sight. Tooru seemed to be surrounded by the new Princesses, and Yuujirou was jealous. He was man enough to admit it, he was jealous of those Princesses. He almost wished he could go back to last year, where he had fun dressing up and cheering alongside Tooru and Mikoto.

But he realized he couldn't go back, and chose to instead throw aside the past. New friends, new activities, it would fit his new life perfectly. Yuujirou chose to be supported by the Princesses as he played his soccer, rather than shoot glares at them when they weren't looking. He played right forward, and immersed himself in the running and kicking of the game.

After a game, Yuujirou thanked the two Princesses for their cheering. The other members of his team praised the Princesses and said things like they were the ones that caused them to win. Yuujirou was desensitized to the influence of the Princesses now, and chose to walk back to the change room, pulling his uniform off and replacing it with a t-shirt and jeans. He left his hair up in a ponytail. It had grown over time, but he chose to keep it around shoulder length, the only remnant of his old life that he would allow. He was tired, and wanted something to eat, something he couldn't find in the school. Or perhaps he just wanted to get out of the school for a while. Yuujirou wasn't sure of what he wanted anymore.

He found a little café in town, taking a seat and ordering a coffee and a small raspberry cake. He poured a small amount of sugar into the coffee and took a sip of the bitter drink, just barely tasting the sugar he put in. He placed the cup down and picked up his fork, digging into the confection. It was gone before he knew it, and Yuujirou placed the money on the table, standing up. His gaze settled on the crowd of people walking by, out of focus and not recognizing any significant features.

Then he spotted a head of blue hair, and his body gave a little jolt. The blue hair made him instantly think of Tooru, but he didn't think that was Tooru. He only saw the backside of the person, but it was obviously a woman, and the head of blue hair he had seen had even been pulled into pigtails, curling inwards a little. Between the pigtails was a headdress, frilly and matching the dress she wore. Yuujirou felt the urge to follow the woman and see who she was. His feet stayed rooted on the ground of the café and he wondered exactly why he wanted to follow the woman. Was it because he thought she was Tooru at first? Yuujirou could have sworn out loud; he thought he was over Tooru, having spent so much time away from him.

Later, at school, Yuujirou confirmed that, yes, he was not over Tooru. He could tell, because he noticed every little detail about the boy. His hair was long now – able to be placed into pigtails, Yuujirou couldn't help but notice – and the strands flipped inwards to frame his face, while the rest seemed to stay straight and hang delicately off his head. When Tooru tipped his head to one side, focusing on whatever it was the teacher was talking about, Yuujirou saw that his ears were pierced now, with silver studs decorating his earlobes. When had that happened? Yuujirou had been too busy ignoring Tooru to notice when he got his ears pierced. He flushed to himself and looked down at his notebook, the blank paper staring up at him accusingly. He frowned, picked up his pencil, and set about giving the paper some decoration so it didn't look quite so bland.

Fall came, and Yuujirou noted the addition of Tooru's roommate as another Princess. Yuujirou wondered if Tooru felt lonely now, all alone in his room. He wondered if he should try and arrange it so he could stay with Tooru now, instead of his roommate now, a second year who was incredibly boring. But he noticed the flaw in his plan: Tooru and he weren't talking to each other. They didn't recognize the other's existence, at least not outwardly. Yuujirou knew that Tooru hadn't the same problem with Mikoto, as he knew the two were still friends. He had seen them hanging out together, laughing and having fun. So it was just Yuujirou that Tooru was avoiding. That stung. Yuujirou felt rather hurt by that, and that killed any thoughts about switching up rooms so he could be close to Tooru again.

He did, however, decide to get closer to Tooru again. After the last soccer practice of the season, Yuujirou straightened up his appearance, combing his hair so he could look his best and walked over to where Tooru's room was. He had to ask Kazuto after the Princess had come to cheer for the soccer practice. Kazuto recognized that the two had previously been Princesses, so didn't feel bad about giving Yuujirou the location of Tooru's room. Raising his hand, Yuujirou knocked on Tooru's door.

"Tooru-kun?" he asked, hoping that Tooru was still close enough that he didn't mind Yuujirou calling him by his first name. "It's Yuujirou. Listen, I was wondering if you want to hang out-" He paused as he heard some kind of thumping going on behind the door. Someone was certainly there. And that someone was not coming to the door. Yuujirou scowled. He didn't think Tooru would hate him so much that he wouldn't even come to the door.

"Tooru-kun, you have one minute to answer this door. I can go get the spare key and unlock it myself if you don't co-operate." There was more thumping, and he thought he heard a kind of squeaking. True to his word, Yuujirou let a full minute pass before he went to the dorm master, telling him some story about how he went to check on Tooru and heard strange noises. It wasn't a complete lie, but he certainly was stretching the truth. Like he cared, now that the dorm master fetched the spare key and gave it to Yuujirou with the firm order to give it back after he was done.

Yuujirou slipped the key into the lock after noting that the door had still yet to be opened, and turned his wrist. The key turned with it and Yuujirou was able to easily open the door. He left the key there and entered, finding nothing. The room was empty, save for the regular furniture, the odd article of clothing lying around, and homework left abandoned. The window was open, and Yuujirou looked outside, finding a pair of footprints by the window – ones that looked suspiciously like they had prominent heels – but there was no sign of Tooru.

Yuujirou swore violently and loudly and turned away from the window, yanking the key out of the door with more force than needed and slammed the door behind him. Tooru had run away from him. God, he needed some way to just forget this. He gave the key back and assured the dorm master that nothing was wrong, and pulled his cell phone out as soon as he was outside.

"Hey. Yeah, man, just calling to see if you want to get the gang together, have some fun… Yeah… Yeah, that sounds cool. See you in a bit."


	3. Chapter 3

Here's chapter 3! We start getting a bit more into some actual interactions now. Enjoy!

--------------------------------------

CHAPTER 3

Tooru pierced his ears a week after summer break ended, and had admired them immensely. He thought he might even get more parts of his ears pierced, later, when his ears had all healed up and he had a bit more time to think about what he wanted. Of course, whenever he thought that, his thoughts betrayed him by slipping in the thought that he what he really wanted was Yuujirou. Even his subconscious had turned on him, sending him dreams that were growing increasingly passionate. They started with just the two hanging out, upgraded to holding hands and brushing fingers, and after a week they had started kissing. Tooru just wished that the dreams would stop before they upgraded to situations far more intimate. Just because he didn't have a roommate anymore didn't mean he wouldn't be embarrassed by those situations arising.

It had been a rather nice day, the sun shining in a way that warmed the world up even though there was a brisk wind that threatened to chill a person down to their bones. Tooru had changed into his dress and had taken out his Physics homework. He was working through some conservation of power questions when there was a knock on his door and Yuujirou's voice cut through his ears. Tooru jumped up with a start, his face turning a bright red that contrasted deeply with his hair. Yuujirou's voice, he hadn't heard it in so long, and he couldn't help but think that it sounded just as attractive, if not more so, than usual. He shook his head to clear away those thoughts, knowing he couldn't have Yuujirou looking at him right at that moment.

The chair scraped backwards as Tooru pushed away from the desk, shoving his papers away. Yuujirou was threatening to get the spare key Kazuto didn't need anymore, and had given back to the dorm master, and Tooru didn't think he had enough time to get changed out of his dress before Yuujirou came back. That corset took a long time to get off. Options running through his mind in a blind panic, Tooru rushed to the window and lifted the glass. It made a sharp, squeaking sound as it unlodged itself from its resting place, but Tooru was able to slip out, thankful that he was on the first floor. His feet landed firmly on the ground.

"T-Tooru-kun?"

Tooru spun to his right after hearing the voice, blue eyes widening at the sound of Mikoto's voice. He saw the pink-haired boy staring at him, eyes locked on the frills of the dress. His mouth widened, ready to yell something out, and Tooru rushed forwards, clamping his hand firmly over Mikoto's mouth. Without a look backwards, Tooru gathered the adrenaline that entered his body by the sheer panic and fear he felt, and lifted Mikoto's body up enough that he could drag the boy across the field, across the street, and only stopped once they were hidden in the forest.

Mikoto was still in a state of shock, a finger pointed at Tooru, and he was shaking with the effort to not scream out a large tangent of gibberish. Tooru, for his part, sighed and looked away, embarrassed. Well, someone was bound to find out sometime. But why did it have to be Mikoto?! Tooru was so sure that Mikoto would understand the least of the need Tooru felt to dress up like this.

Finally, Mikoto was able to form some words. "What… is this?" Tooru sighed again and leaned against a tree.

"I just…" he began, unsure of how to explain it. "I just… miss it, I guess… Being a Princess was actually fun, and now that I can't be one anymore, I miss it. I don't really know why, but I just saw this dress and I just felt like I had to wear it, and when I did it was just so much fun and I felt comforted, like things were back to the way they used to be, before Yuujirou-kun started ignoring me!" He felt like he was babbling, and stiffened after that last comment. Why did he have to let that slip out?! It was practically admitting that he was in love with Yuujirou!

Mikoto raised an eyebrow, but seemed to be focusing more on the fact that Tooru was wearing a dress than the slip about Yuujirou. The silence stretched out as Mikoto processed the information and Tooru watched him anxiously, wanting to know what his next reaction would be.

"So…" Mikoto said after the moment of silence was over. "You want to… be, like, a girl or something?"

"NO!" Tooru exclaimed, perhaps a little louder than needed, but it was all truth. He had considered, at one point that he had wanted to be a girl since he kept dressing like one. But he decided he rather liked his manhood, however little was left of it, and certainly didn't want the perks of being female. Feminine hormones and the mood swings that came with them, and the mere thought of menstruation. Tooru wasn't sure that he would get that if he switched to being a woman, but he was able to assure himself that he didn't want to find out. "No, I just feel like a little something in my life is being filled."

"You weren't happy when you stopped being a Princess?" Mikoto asked, bewildered by the idea.

"Not really… I had gotten so used to it, I guess."

"Hahn…"

Tooru sank to the ground, his legs spread in front of him in a rather unlady-like manner, though he had the decency to press the fabric of his skirt down to fill the gap between his legs. After a moment, Mikoto joined him, sitting cross-legged beside the other male. He was frowning, a concentrated look that showed he was trying to think of the right thing to say, but it just kept slipping away. They stayed like that for a long time, neither were sure exactly how long.

"So," Mikoto said, feeling the need to break the awkward silence that had descended upon them again. "You… like Shihoudani-kun?"

"I'm leaving now."

"No, wait!" Mikoto said, grabbing Tooru's arm as the boy tried to stand up. Tooru's behind landed roughly on the ground and he mumbled a few obscenities. Mikoto apologized for his rough behavior, then continued with his interrogation. "When did you… you know?"

Tooru shrugged, a light blush on his cheeks.

"Was it… the kiss?"

Again, Tooru shrugged, though he gave a small tilt of the head that could have been taken as a lazy attempt at a 'no' shake. His cheeks did, however, have the decency to flare up even brighter at the memory, made all the more vivid by the dreams he had on an almost nightly basis.

Mikoto seemed to have no more questions, and after a little while found an excuse to leave when his phone rang, Megumi calling. He sprang out and looked excitedly at his phone, though he glanced at Tooru before answering. Tooru smiled at him. "You go have fun with Megumi-san. I think I'll go for a little walk." Mikoto nodded and walked in the general direction of the school, though if things went as Mikoto hoped, Tooru knew he would be hopping on the bus and going out to meet up with Megumi.

Tooru chose to head into town, wanting to immerse himself in the nameless crowd of people that had no idea who he was and merely thought he was a pretty young lady with a strange hair colour. It worked for a while. He hung around the shopping district, considering buying another dress he saw, a cute thing with strawberries patterned over it. But he didn't have the heart to go and buy it, for whatever reason. Tooru was sure it was because of Mikoto finding out his secret just after Yuujirou chose to be his friend again.

Tooru frowned. He didn't like that Yuujirou held such a sway over him, that he could make him flush into a pink glow, or make such a rift inside of him that he wasn't sure how to fill. He thought the dresses would do that, but they only helped a little bit. Tooru knew that if he wanted to heal properly, he would need to reconcile with Yuujirou.

The blue-haired boy was considering buying a crepe, or some other snack that would fill him up a little, when he spotted a familiar blond head. The blonde hair wasn't naturally common in Japanese people, though he knew many liked to dye it that way. Tooru was sure that Yuujirou was a natural blonde, though. He looked at the head as it came closer, both proud and ashamed of the fact he could distinguish Yuujirou just by the top of his head.

Then it sunk in: Yuujirou was walking in his direction. While Tooru was dressed like a girl.

Panic sunk in with the realization, and Tooru turned around to try and run, but instead bumped into the rather large chest of a rather large man. He stumbled onto his rear, but recovered as quickly as possible, ignoring the hand the man offered and mumbling a small thank you. The man just chuckled in a light-hearted way and continued walking. Tooru tore his gaze up from the sidewalk and turned around to check on how close Yuujirou was.

It just so happened that he was right in front of him.

Tooru's eyes widened and he felt a blush escalate as he looked at Yuujirou. He was frozen in place, standing a few inches taller than Yuujirou due to the platforms he wore. Yuujirou seemed rather shocked as well, but seemed to be taking the sight in a lot better than Tooru was.

"My, my, Tocchan…" Yuujirou said, a smirk on his lips. "Didn't think I'd see you again." Tooru couldn't help but notice the slight drawl on his words, and the way he swayed every so slightly. He was drunk. Not overly drunk, it seemed, as he hadn't burst into song and dance, but he was definatly slightly out of his mind.

As a response, Tooru let out a squeak, which Yuujirou laughed at. It was slightly more hysterical than Yuujirou's usual laugh, which only added to the conclusion that he was drunk. Tooru wondered where he had gotten the booze from, and why he was wandering the streets. His thoughts were interrupted by Yuujirou taking his hand. A dark red decorated his cheeks for a moment as he felt Yuujirou's bare skin against his own, and he was barely able to stammer out a "W-where are we going?"

Yuujirou just laughed that drunken laugh again and continued tugging Tooru through the crowd of people, stopping only once they got to a karaoke place. Tooru objected, not wanting to go inside, but Yuujirou ignored him, dragging the cross-dressing bluenette all the way to a specific room, where loud singing and much laughter could be heard.

Yuujirou threw open the door and smiled at the people inside. "Yo! I'm back!" he declared, and the people inside gave him a recognizing mutter. "And I brought someone with me: Tocchan!" Ears perked up upon hearing the girlish name, and Tooru found himself dragged inside. His eyes scanned the room, spotting four boys he didn't know – Yuujirou's new friends, he assumed – all of them older, though he also saw Mikoto and Megumi there as well.

The strangers whistled at him, making Tooru feel very self-conscious. It wasn't like he had the other Princesses to back him up, and it wasn't like he was in a faceless crowd. Ducking his head to avoid their eyes, Tooru swiftly took the empty seat next to Megumi, and then looked around her to glare at Mikoto.

"You didn't tell him, did you?" he asked accusingly, and Mikoto shook his head violently, repeating words about how he wouldn't do a thing like that. Tooru leaned back, believing him. Mikoto knew what it was like to not have people knowing that you dressed in women's clothing.

The karaoke passed by in a blur. Tooru chose to not partake of any alcohol that the older boys had ordered, a fact the boys said was very cute. Yuujirou just laughed and asked for another glass. Tooru tried to avoid singing, as well, but had the microphone forced into his hands at one point. Fumbling with the selection and cheered on by the drunkards, Tooru selected Gackt's 'Solitary'.

"Kimi to hanarete omou koto ga aru

issho ni iru toki wa kizukanakatta koto

Waraiaeta ano koro wa

minna onaji you ni naiteita ne

Yorokobi mo kono kanashimi mo wakeatteita yo ne

Dore dake aishite mo

mou nidoto kimi wo dakenakute

futari no taisetsu na omoi wa tooku de yurete'ru

Kimi to hanarete omou koto ga aru

issho ni iru toki wa kizukenakatta..."

Cheers were given, though Tooru was sure that his voice wavered and cracked with the cheer effort it took to not just bolt at the first possibility of escape. He gave everyone a polite smile and sat down for a little bit longer before looking up at the clock. It was well past midnight, so Tooru said he had a curfew and excused himself from the group. As he exited, he could hear various other voices saying how they had to leave too.

Tooru quickened his pace, but he couldn't escape the hand that landed on his shoulder. He spun around, facing one of the men that had been sitting with them. He smiled down at Tooru, not even trying to hide the fact that he was drunk. "Hey, Tocchan." The man spoke, and Tooru couldn't help but bristle at the way this drunkard was butchering and slurring the nickname Yuujirou had given him. "I know ya got that curfew thing, but I was thinking we could push it off for a little while, eh?" His eyebrows wiggled suggestively, and it took all of Tooru's willpower to keep from throwing up.

"I'd rather push you off! Let go of me!" Tooru replied hotly, tired and not in the mood to deal with perverted drunks. The man replied by tightening his grip so Tooru couldn't escape. It hurt, and Tooru thought he would bruise if this brute didn't let go soon.

"Hey, lay off!" A familiar, if slurred, voice cut through and startled the brute enough that his grip loosened a little. He scowled at Yuujirou, who was stalking closer to them.

"What's it to you, Yuuji-kun?" he asked, challenging.

Yuujirou replied by ripping the man's hands off Tooru and bringing the blue-haired boy close to him in a hug that was more than just a little possessive. "Tocchan's mine." He growled, the sheer power and desire in his voice nearly making Tooru swoon. The man scowled, but backed off.

"Yuujirou-kun…" Tooru said after a moment had passed and Yuujirou still hadn't let him go. Yuujirou pulled back, but kept his hands on Tooru's shoulders. The two looked at each other, unable to say anything in case it would break the moment, then Yuujirou leaned forwards and Tooru had feel his breath ghosting over his lips. His own breath hitched and he could have sunk in and kissed Yuujirou.

"Stop it." Tooru said, stepping back and placing a hand over his own lips, blocking them from everything before anything could happen. He turned his head to the side and avoided looking at Yuujirou.

"Why?"

"You're drunk."

"No'm not!"

"I saw you drink that beer! I could smell the alcohol on your breath!" Tooru turned to Yuujirou, glaring at the boy for lying to him so obviously.

"But that's not why I'm doin' this!"

"If that's the case, come prove it when you're sober." Tooru said, throwing his sentence out bitterly as he turned away and walked out of the karaoke place.

------------------------------------------------

_English translation of 'Solitary' (I thought it suited Tooru's feelings quite well)_

_'There are things I think when I'm separated from you_

_that I never noticed when we were together._

_The times when we were laughing with each other_

_were all just like the times when we were crying..._

_we've shared both the joy and this sadness, haven't we._

_No matter whom we love,_

_although I can never hold you again,_

_our precious memories together are trembling in the distance._

_There are things I think when I'm separated from you_

_that I could never have noticed when we were together...'_


	4. Chapter 4

CHAPTER 4

Days had passed since the entire karaoke incident, and Tooru couldn't help but feel offended. He knew Yuujirou had been drunk – that had been obvious – but had the boy been so drunk that he forgot about what had all happened? Did he forget Tooru telling him to try again when he was sober? Did he forget trying to kiss Tooru? Did he forget about the night entirely, forgetting that Tooru wore women's clothes again and had basically sang out his feelings for Yuujirou?

Tooru had been waiting for Yuujirou to confess his love to him. The two sat in the same class, and Tooru found himself sneaking glances at Yuujirou, but had yet to catch the boy even glancing at him. At lunch he thought that he would try to invite Yuujirou to sit with him, but before he could get out a single word, the boy had walked past him and sat down with his other friends. His only friends, Tooru mentally corrected himself, as neither he nor Mikoto were his friends anymore.

Tooru sighed and sat down next to Mikoto, picking at his food without interest.

"I take it things aren't going well?" Mikoto asked, and Tooru could have glared at him, adding on a 'you think?' that was dripping with the venom Tooru felt. But he just sighed and bit down on a piece of bread.

"I think he's forgotten all about it." Tooru replied after swallowing the bread.

"How could you forget that? It's not every day you see a guy in a dress!"

"Um, yes it is. Look, there's one right there." Tooru said, pointing to Moriya, who had donned a black and red Wa Lolita styled outfit and was sitting with a third year.

"I mean a guy who, y'know, is doing this voluntarily."

"I'm pretty sure he's doing this voluntarily. If not, I know Atsushi-kun is. Kazuto-kun is sort of halfway…"

"Not the same! There's nothing to gain from you dressing like that anymore, so it's really weird to see you in a dress again." Mikoto said, taking a drink from a bottle of water.

Tooru was silent for a moment, and sighed. "I think I might stop, anyway. It doesn't feel the same anymore."

"Huhn?"

"It was all just to fill a void, sort of thing, y'know. But now… the void isn't there because of the Princess job. It's there cause of Yuujirou-kun. I missed the times where everything was all normal between us, which was back when we were Princesses. I guess I got that mixed up with missing being a Princess." Tooru's eyes were staring intently at the small apple he had bought, watching it's red surface like it was the most important thing in the world. It was easier than looking up at Mikoto's face.

"Oh." It was all Mikoto had to say to that, and the two of them finished their lunch in silence. They brought their garbage to the garbage can and walked out into the hallway before Mikoto spoke up again. "So… what are you going to do about it?"

"I don't know…" Tooru sighed again, breathing out the weight of his problems with those three words. He wished he could say those other three words, the ones that would actually lift away the weight.

Yuujirou had spent the day after the karaoke night away from school. Partially because of the pounding headache, and partially because of the embarrassment he felt remembering what had happened the night before. Parts of it were blank, certainly. He knew that he had gotten up to sing multiple times, though thankfully the alcohol had chosen to erase those mortifying moments from his memory. How many people had been there? Four of his friends had come, yes, he knew that. Megumi had run into him and asked if she could join. Yuujirou didn't have the heart to turn her down, even knowing that her being there would mean that Mikoto would show up as well.

Someone else had been there, yes. Yuujirou remembered well. He had gone out for a little air, telling the guys he would be back in a little while. He had intended on buying a snack or something, he realized, something he couldn't get at the karaoke place. Then he had run into Tooru.

God, Tooru had looked so good. He was sexy, but he had also been cute, the way he blushed and was obviously embarrassed at being seen in women's clothes again. It made Yuujirou's face flush just thinking about it, so he did his best to not think about it when he went to classes the following days. He wouldn't look at Tooru, lest the image of him, with the close cut dress and the shimmering pink lips run rampant through his mind and cause an embarrassing situation.

Yuuijrou found he also had to think on what happened after the karaoke had ended. Tooru had left, he remembered, and the party started to end after that. Tori had left directly after Tooru, and Yuujirou had followed shortly after, not trusting his friend's intent. He liked Tori, he was a good guy, but he had a bit of a naughty streak that left Yuujirou worried for Tooru's purity.

So he followed them, yes he remembered that, and he got in between the two. What exactly had he done? It took Yuujirou a couple of days to sift through his memories and rearrange the distortion the alcohol had caused. When he realized exactly what he had done and said, it was three days later, in the middle of class, and Yuujirou groaned loudly and slammed his head on his desk. He used a stomachache as an excuse for the interruption, and retreated down to the nurse's office where he promptly got better.

Now the question he had to deal with was: did Tooru say what he thought he said, or was Yuujirou's perception mixing up the meaning of his words. 'You're drunk' he had said. It wasn't something like 'I don't want to kiss you' or 'Get the hell away from me, you pervert'. Did that mean Tooru wanted Yuujirou to kiss him, but only when he was sure Yuujirou was in his right mind?

He wanted to believe that was the case, but he wasn't sure. Often he found himself gnawing on his lip, though during lunch he had found a far more delicious substance in which to gnaw upon. He bought his lunch, so deep in thought he had forgotten which onigiri he wanted, and had ordered tuna instead of katsuobushi. He had glanced up once, to see Tooru getting up as though he was going to intercept Yuujirou, but he kept walking. Yuujirou had yet to decide what Tooru's meaning had been, and he did not want to face any further embarrassment by facing the blue haired boy now.

He sat down at the table, surrounded by fellow members of the soccer team, one of which had been at the karaoke night. He mentioned to Yuujirou that he should bring Tocchan over to play more often, and Yuujirou wondered why in the world he had forsaken his old friends in order to hang out with this crowd of leering perverts. Yuujirou merely responded with a swift under the table kick to the boy's shin, and continued eating his meal.

In the days that followed, Yuujirou still had yet to decide whether or not he should try to make his move again. Though he had decided to not go out and get drunk in his misery, like he had last time. It was what caused this whole thing, and now Yuujirou was sure Tooru didn't want to speak with him anymore. But he couldn't decide whether Tooru didn't want to speak to him anymore because he was angry that Yuujirou had tried to kiss him, or whether Tooru hadn't tried to kiss him again. It was a rather confusing loop that kept Yuujirou's mind spinning and unable to reach a conclusion.

At a soccer game, Yuujirou found the team playing against a neighboring school for the chance to secure a spot in a tournament. Yuujirou found himself not really caring that much. His mind was distracted, and during the breaks they got he found his eyes scouring the stands in the hopes of seeing a head of blue hair. After the fifth break, he saw Tooru sitting next to Mikoto and Akira, though he was far enough away that Yuujirou could only guess what his facial expression was. He assumed it to be blank, though he was sure Tooru would have a smile on. That's just how Tooru was, a smiling man.

In the following part of the game, Yuujirou tried to concentrate, he really did. But thoughts that had been plaguing him for the past days rose up against him and tugged at his mind. A cry from one of the Princesses cheering for them – Kazuto, Yuujirou thought it was – was the only warning he got, and Yuujirou turned around just in time to score a goal with his face.

He could hear the audience cheer at the lucky shot as Yuujirou fell to his knees, bringing one hand up to stem the flow of blood from his nose. His teammates hurried to his side, and one offered Yuujirou a handkerchief and support for his walk to the nurse's office. Yuujirou declined the support, though he pressed the handkerchief against his nostrils and trudged away from the field, to the nurse's office.

The nurse had, however, gone to the game and had failed to return to his office, not noticing that a player had been injured. Not that it mattered to Yuujirou, whose nose had stopped bleeding by the time he reached the infirmary. His head swam from the blood loss, so he chose to sit on a bed, leaning against the wall and waiting until someone came to fetch him.

The game was over soon, Yuujirou could tell from the cheers he heard even from the building. His golden eyes slid open at the sound, but closed soon after, only opening again when he heard footsteps coming closer mere minutes later.

His first thought was: Tooru! But no, he realized, as the door slid open to reveal Atsushi, still clad in a short nurse's dress. Of course it wouldn't be Tooru. That was too cliché, having the object of his affections visiting him in the infirmary where there would be an entire confession scene fully equipped with shojo bubbles.

"Are you feeling okay?" Atsushi asked, smiling at Yuujirou, who merely stared back.

"I'm fine." He said, making a show of flipping strands of hair away from his eyes without making his head spin from the weakness of blood loss. Atsushi smiled and went over to wet a cloth.

"That's good." He said, bringing the cloth over and sitting on the edge over the bed. "But your face is still all messy."

Yuujirou made a noncommittal grunt and took the wet cloth from Atsushi, dabbing away underneath his nose.

"You know, you're a lot less scary than you were at the beginning of the year." Atsushi said, smiling at Yuujirou, who merely gave him another grunt and continued cleaning his face. "Now you seem distracted, rather than anti-social. It's kinda cute."

"Look, I don't want-"

"I'll bet Tooru-kun's seen it too." Atsushi continued, ignoring whatever it was Yuujirou was going to say. His gaze now shifted from Yuujirou's face to the wall. "I wonder if he knows what it's about."

Yuujirou's face turned pink as he realized that this boy knew what he was talking about. He gave the side of Atsushi's face an icy gaze and brought the wet cloth away from his now clean face. "What is it you want?"

"Happiness." Atsushi said, without missing a beat. He turned to look at Yuujirou. "I love Tooru-kun, he is, like, my bestest friend! And he's not happy. So I watch. I watch him and I watch people around him, but I go and realize it's not the people around him I need to watch. You were once around him, but now you are not. I realize this is weird, so I chose to watch you. And then I learned." Atsushi took the wet, bloody cloth from Yuujirou's hands and placed it by the sink. He paused there, staring at the bloody cloth in silence.

"Learned what? What do you want me to do?" Yuujirou snapped at him, irritable.

"Love." Atsushi said simply, and turned to smile at Yuujirou again. "It is what I saw, it is what I want you to do. Tooru too. In face, everybody should love. I think I'll go love right now!" Before Yuujirou could protest that the boy was making no sense whatsoever, he merrily ran out of the room, heels clicking against the floor with each step.

The sun rose the next morning, just like it always did. Yuujirou looked out of his window, ignoring the soft snores of his roommate as he always did. He dressed and ate and got ready for school like it was any other day. But he didn't feel like it was any other day. The thoughts that had recently plagued his mind had cleared out, and he was left with only their residue: an action.

He made his way to the classroom, finding that most of the other classmates were already there. Yuujirou looked at them in silence, his gaze searching through them even as some of the guys asked him how his nose was. He stopped when his eyes came across the familiar blue head.

His heart beat too loudly in his chest, and he could have sworn he was breaking out into a sweat just walking over. But his eyes felt clearer than they had ever been, matching his mind. Yuujirou stepped in front of Tooru's desk, and the boy saw his shadow and looked up, surprised. Yuujirou was sure he was even more surprised when his lips met Yuujirou's.

His hands cupped both sides of Tooru's face, keeping it still when Yuujirou swiftly swept downward and pressed his lips against Tooru's. It lacked a magical air that hung between them in the moments before the kiss, when breath was ghosting over the other's lips and just the tips of their noses would touch. It lacked the white-hot intensity of a kiss that crushed lip against lip and sent blood rushing to areas that by all accounts should not be seen in public.

But what it did have was a gentle love, fearful of a rejection but sending silent passion through closed lips. Tooru could feel shockwaves radiating from his lips, making his fingertips quiver and his heart beat faster and faster. He closed his eyes and pressed his own lips back against Yuujirou's, his own hands gripping the folds of the other male's shirt as he felt the shockwaves rumbling through his insides, and with each rumble he could feel the void closing.

The classroom burst the magic that had enraptured Tooru and Yuujirou, and they started talking so loud that the distraction could not be ignored. Reluctantly, Yuujirou let go of Tooru's face and tugged his lips away. Tooru still clung to Yuujirou's shirt, looking up at him with glittering sapphire eyes and perfectly pink lips parted ever so slightly. Yuujirou had to resist the urge to jump him right then and there, and settled on giving him a soft smile.

"Sorry I took so long." Yuujirou said, pulling Tooru's hands off of his shirt so he could grasp them with his own hands.

"You're gonna have to pay for that, you ass." Tooru said wickedly, smiling almost maliciously up at Yuujirou, who merely smirked.

The teacher arrived and Yuujirou took his seat, gripping Tooru's hand for as long as they could get away with.

"Hey Tooru-kun, I heard a rumor that Yuuji – WOAH! HOLY FUCK!" Mikoto yelled, his arms flailing as he rounded a corner. Tooru had told him to meet up with him by the forest at four o'clock.

He was five minutes early.

Tooru's head spun around at the sound of Mikoto's voice, though the rest of his body couldn't go anywhere. It was currently pinned up against a tree by Yuujirou, who had buried his face in Tooru's neck and was in the process of marking up that creamy skin before Mikoto had to go and ruin the moment.

"Oh, hello, Mikoto-kun." Tooru said, smiling as though nothing was wrong. His embarrassed blush, however, betrayed that smile. Mikoto was currently in the blank-minded mode before the spazzing began, and he soon found himself pointing wildly at Tooru and Yuujirou.

"YOU! YOU ONLY GOT TOGETHER THIS MORNING AND YOU'RE ALREADY COMMITTING CARNAL ACTS IN PLAIN VIEW?! ANYONE CAN SEE YOU! AND WHAT IS WITH THAT?" Mikoto pointed at the frilly white dress Tooru was sporting. Tooru blushed.

"Well, I know I said I'd stop, but, you know…"

"It's kinky." Yuujirou stated, which caused Mikoto to almost foam at the mouth and loudly declare that he was not hanging out with them anymore and that no matter what reason Tooru called him out here, he was leaving. With his back finally out of sight, Yuujirou turned to Tooru again.

"He sure knows how to ruin a moment." Yuujirou said.

"Keep talking about him and you could ruin the moment too." Tooru warned, and Yuujirou smiled and gripped Tooru's lower back a little tighter, pulling the boy closer to him.

"So," Yuujirou started, leering up at Tooru. "How often can I see you like this?" His left hand slipped between the layers of Tooru's skirt.

"Once a week."

"Only once a week?"

"Can't have you getting too excited, now can we?" Tooru teased, leaning in close to Yuujirou, his minty fresh breath slipping over the male's lips.

"Darlin', every time I see you is enough to get me excited." Yuujirou said, closed his lips over Tooru's, and the two let the shockwaves wash over them, dancing across their skin, making their hair stand on end, as their lips danced around each other.


End file.
